Yet another false alarm

Counting days and taking notes on my bodily changes dah jadi routine baru ku. So bile aritu dah nk dekat ngan my supposedly 1st day of the new cycle, jadi excited lebih and anxious tak tentu pasal. Symptom2 yang memang selalu ade time2 nak period tu semua complete, so mmg dr awal dah kate 'ni sure period lah ni'. 

Tapi kan, tau2 mase hari yg sepatutnyer tu, die tak mai. Hoh! Excited bagai nk rak!! Siap pi beli clearblue lagik pas keje. Yelah, mane lah tau kalau2 lekat ke. *nak sedapkan hati* heheheeee...

Pastu, ni i tak sure if its my mind reacting to the hormonal changes or its signs and symptoms. Demam mendadak tetiba, muntah2 and letih. But i think i know my body and this is certainly not normal. On the 2nd day of my missed period, i did the home pregnancy test. Negative.. Dalam hati: 'Maybe ni baru sgt kott. Maybe hormones dlm badan tk byk lagik.Maybe urine diluted sgt kott coz buat malam2' So the next day, i did another one (excited lebih hokay!) at my first morning urine. Waited and saw the change of colour on the strip rising. 1st window '-' sign. Then another | sign on the other window! Yess!!!! Giler excited! im preggy! Im preggy! I am pregnant!! Alhamdulillah.. 

Cepat2 jerit kat Kiki nk bgtau the good news. 

Suddenly ntah kenape, i said 'eh jap eh' and checked the box and instruction manual for the kit. Alaah. Sorry sayang, I silap tgk. Negative lah result die. The 2nd window to is an indicator that the kit is ready for reading. Hampeh. Takpe. Tunggu lagik. Kiki kate jgn check lagik. Tunggu smp next week.

Hari esok nyer tu, kat keje rase cramping cam slalu tu. Check2, takde pape pun, just spotting. Sikit sgt. the whole day cramping tu ade je, tp tk taruk pun just body rase tak sedap. This lasted for two days. On the evening of the 2nd day of spotting, perut, pinggang belakang full blown sakit. Check, still nothing. Dah start risau dah sebenarnyer, and we decide to go to Mak Esah.

Mak Esah urut and die kate 'Ni tak lekat ni. Tak rase ape2 pun. Maybe sakit tu psl die nk turun kott.' Luluh and sebak giler mase dgr tu. Seious, slalu boleh tahan emotions depan org, but this time, tears just flow there and then and takleh stop. Mak Esah kate jgn sedih2, rosak badan nanti. 

Esok nyer br period. Tu pun takde lah banyak cam slalu pun. Still sikit je. Tapi sakit die, Ya Rabbi! Sumpah ni lah the worst ever period pain that i have gone through. Siang tu pas b'fast telan painkiller. Tahan dalm 3 jam lebih then start balik. Gagah kan diri balik rumah in-laws coz Kiki dah rindu nk balik. The whole day teruk giler sampai lah in the end, the family ended up having to sent me to the clinic.

That lasted till the next day. But the next day the pain comes and goes. But when it comes, its severe. Sigh...

Sedih ni tak ilang lagik, tp nk go thru the emotional roller coaster once again, cam dah tk larat lah.  Tak larat nk get my hopes dashed. Tapi note to self: Tak boleh putus asa. Allah benci org yg putus asa. Just berdoa banyak dimurahkan rezeki..

InsyAllah.. Amin.. 

I am now on: 

1. Folic Acid

2. Ova-Mit